My birthday and I am turning 20!!

I guess it's not so bad that I turned 20. At first I thought:"20?! That's like so old!". I guess I couldn't accept the fact that I was getting a year older that's all. Hmm..I feel I am mentally ready for the things that life will throw at me from now on, and I guess I have a matured a little depsite the fact that I am still telling lame jokes to my friends. I feel that I am a little aloof to people nowadays, but that's because I am a thinker. Virgo girls are thinkers. I have been alone by myself for too long!!!

Turning 20 is no biggie, but for me it's a great deal. I have definitely grown up a lot mentally, although I am still the same height as I was back in primary school (sad). I joked with my mum (a few years ago) that on my 21st birthday, she should give me a necklace with a key as a pendant signifying my independence. Come to think of it, she has given me a lot of freedom, and the key would be somehow redundent because I still stick to her like I have always did since I was young.

This birthday I am greatful for all the things I have, the good and bad times I had experienced, and learn not to take things for granted. I can't wait to get older because I will get wiser and that will make up for those times that I was childish and those stupid things that I have done in the past.

Wishes: Study hard, love life, lose weight, and help Mum in any way I can. Of course, good health and happiness for myself and my friends!!!

Gonna slack for a while more even though I gotta study. It's my right because it's my birthday today!! Haha

In distress...

I met my brother and his gf on Tuesday, he had to pass me a book for Econs. When he ask me how was my studying and I replied that I could cope for now, and I think I would need help on Econs and Maths. They then pushed the topic of teaching me these two subjects to each other. Like "Oh, he can help you. No lah, she can help you". I guess I am on my own, and I don't think I can depend on them (my brother said if there was any qns I can ask him). They are gonna start school soon and I doubt they would be too busy to help me. Hiaz....

Stressed out because I need to depend on my own and I got a assignment due next week and its quite tough to tackle. I guess I will just work on assignment today (there is construction going on and I need the silence to study), and study tomorrow instead.

Guess this blog is my stress-reliever and refuge. Hiaz. Hope I got the determination to study and last for next three years (because I don't wanna repeat any modules - a waste of my time and money).

Wish me luck - and now I am not so in the mood of enjoying my birthday when it comes...Hiaz

Busy & Troubled.

I have been busy with studies lately, attending classes and revising and stuff. I was quite prepared at the thought that studying (in Uni) was not gonna be at all easy, and I am starting to taste it and it ain't sweet at all. I am kind of worried and I am very tempted to have tuition. Economics and Maths is hard, but I am starting to like Accounting since I have studied it before and I like counting my budgets for the weeks(Haha!!) I have trouble retaining the information that I revised in my head, and I suspect its the branch that fell on my head outside my church a year ago that left me in this state. Maybe some part of my memory cells is depleted or something. I feel so drained and I really feel that I should have chosen to work for a year.

On the plus side, I made some new friends/classmates and at least I don't feel that lonely as compared to my first week at school. I have drawn up a "relax" schedule at home but I haven't been sticking to it (Haha!). I really need to convince myself to study hard now, although its only into my third week at school and besides, studying was never meant to be easy in the first place.

I need to at least unwind for a day or two each week so that I won't be that stressed out.

No luck for my comic selling - and I need the space to put all my lecture notes. Boo-hoo!!

Weekend's coming and I am so looking forward to rest on Sunday (Woo-hoo), and gotta gear up for classes back on Tuesday!!!

First Day...

Yup. The first day of school - as a university student. I woke up and left the house pretty early. I reached school at about a few minutes to 8 and I was pretty anxious. Luckily my brother prepped me for the week, by calling me last night. He told me to bring something to hold the notes (and they were for a year = all the lessons). I was quite optimistic at the start of the class and when it was halfway into the class, I kinda understood what the lecturer was saying and all. However, towards the end of the class, I felt a sudden gush of stress in my mind, and I pondered about my survival for the next 3 years in the university. I don't wanna cave into the stress that quickly although I was mentally prepared for the "hideous" and hard things to come. The first day was all about the lesson, and I was too shy to talk to anybody and start introducing myself to them. I suppose many of the students have that poly/JC mentality, and I don't deny that fact. As I was on my way out of the campus, I started remembering my years in poly and how I really enjoyed it, and I would really like to get back to that kind of "study life".

It's only the first week and I hope it will get better next week. I am trying hard to absorb at every lesson and I hope I could do so. Wish me luck!!

PS: I really wished somebody who is my friend could be in the same course as me; making new friends and meeting new people is so hard..since I am a introvert.

Gambatte!!!

Still emotionally & mentally immature...

I feel like I am not quite there, I mean emotionally and mentally as a 20 year old. Many of the people (random people like my hairstylist) say I look like a 18 year old. My Mum thinks I act/behave like a 16 year old, which at sometimes I don't deny that fact at all. I find that there are more things that I can improve as an individual, and sometimes I feel so "hollow" on the inside as a human being.

I want to do some meaningful things - like visiting a third world country and do some charity work over there. Life is so short, despite the fact that the life expectancy of Singaporeans are increasing. That's food for thought today.

I watched the match between Liverpool and Singapore yesterday, and sad to say, we will never make it to the world cup. No pun intended, but we might just be good enough for a asian league if there is any.

Today I went back to my old workplace near my home to see if I could spot any familiar faces and I did. I had to queue up to see some of them, which was funny when they saw me and laughed. Good to see some of them and I started to miss some of the part-timers I worked with previously. Now it's raining heavily and it is a good thing because it was scorching hot for the last couple of days.

That's a summary for the past few days - I might be busy to update any new happenings, but will try to. =)

huh?!

That was my first reaction to the first message I received today - from SIM. I had to choose my modules and a timetable. They had a dateline (which was today) so I quickly sat down to do it, and text my brother about it. I went ahead and did it because my bro said that it could be some kind of demographics - to see what the students would choose. In the end I chose a likely timetable for myself, which I was quite satisfied and clicked confirm. Much to my surprise, there was a statement that the registration for the year 2009/2010 is now complete, and so I got skeptical and it turns out that would be my final timetable and school starts very soon! My brother said I could have gotten a better lecturer for one module and called SIM and enquired whether I could swap classes, but to no avail.

OMG!!

My enrollment hasn't been completed yet and school starts in less than a month!!!

I have to prepare myself mentally now, and make the most of days of the amount of freedom I have left!!

poor thing..

My Mum pulled 3 of her teeth, out of the 4 that the dentist had mentioned. She had an inflamed tooth that had cracked and we deduced that that was the reason why she had fever. I laughed when she was in the dentist's chair because she was joking around, and making noises which made me unable to imagine the pain she was going through. In five minutes, two of the teeth came out really quickly as the dentist said it was a simple extraction. I saw the dentist inject something to numb the pain and did some stitches. I couldn't bear to watch like halfway through the procedure. Mum has to pull another teeth and remove the stitches next week.

Mum was so scared - like a little girl, and made me remember my visit to the dentist back in primary school. The dentist was rough and had some kind attitude problem and that's why some of the kids hated her. I had to hold my skirt when I had to pull my teeth out, as the dentist didn't administer any injection to numb the pain - but a very cold cream to ease the pain. Geez. I don't wanna remember that few occasions, when I saw my tooth coming out from my mouth and hear myself moan in pain.

Kudos to Mum. I am sure that is an ordeal, but when you have to do it, you gotta do it. Can't imagine myself going through all that pain....T-T (really can't)