I'm getting a bit stressed at my vacation job. I did the same job back in 2008, but the stress keeps piling up everyday for the past few days. I always feel sleepy when I start work in the morning - maybe because I don't have at least 8 hours of sleep. I am getting less confident everyday as I am not sure of the answers that I should provide each question to, or I feel that I totally suck at the job.
I am the kind of person that even after a solution is found or a case is closed, I will still ponder about it. Whether the issue is huge or tiny, I will keep thinking about it. However, it is not till that extend that I am petty (because recently I learned how to let a lot of things go), but just worried and sometimes I panic too much. I am rather the thinker than the do-er or someone who says out what they really feel inside.
Today I had a very difficult case to handle and I think I almost screw it up real badly. Luckily my colleague came to check, and managed to get the case closed. I was thinking that I have really depended on this colleague too much - even though he has a lot of experience (a few months at the job already). After this colleague leaves, I am really on my own.
My present colleagues (the temp workers) are all males and I am the only girl out of 5 people. Today they waited for me to finish up my case(that same case), and I feel kind of bad. They are all older than me and I am like the youngest there right now - maybe I'm treated like a sister?! Haha! I really appreciated the fact that they waited for me - because I feel left out when they started talking about the World Cup and about the time when they went for their National Service amongst themselves and at the point of time when they waited for me, I felt like I really belonged even though I'm the only girl there.
I feel that I didn't work my a** off this year because I didn't at all, and it's taking its toll on me. Maybe I should take things more seriously and work my hardest at it - because I don't want to be a burden to anyone when I should know my stuff (especially at work). The same applies for studying, if I don't work hard I won't get to achieve anything. Now I understand what it really takes to get the things you want in life and that is through the hard work you have to put in yourself and not riding on the abilities or knowledge of others.
Hard Work + Determination + Sweat/Tears = Ultimate Prize in Life!!
- That's the winning formula!!
