Another New Year!!

The year 2011 has arrived!! OMG.
2010 hasn't been a really good year. I have found out some things about myself, and also of other people. Have been quite disappointed and sad with some people and myself. Oh well. That' all in the past. Time to move forward and look towards a great year ahead. Learned a lot this year and I hope to learn more in the next.
There are many things I would want to achieve in the year, be it in academics, physically, in my personal and social life. There are many things I want to see and experience, so I am really looking forward to it.
I'm still the same - not much change actually but I have certainly made some new year resolutions already (roughly - i guess). It's time to change some things.
I guess that's all I have to say to sum up 2010. But I hope my memory improves because I have been really forgetful.

Happy New Year!! :)

Scared and appreciative.

I'm getting a bit stressed at my vacation job. I did the same job back in 2008, but the stress keeps piling up everyday for the past few days. I always feel sleepy when I start work in the morning - maybe because I don't have at least 8 hours of sleep. I am getting less confident everyday as I am not sure of the answers that I should provide each question to, or I feel that I totally suck at the job.
I am the kind of person that even after a solution is found or a case is closed, I will still ponder about it. Whether the issue is huge or tiny, I will keep thinking about it. However, it is not till that extend that I am petty (because recently I learned how to let a lot of things go), but just worried and sometimes I panic too much. I am rather the thinker than the do-er or someone who says out what they really feel inside.

Today I had a very difficult case to handle and I think I almost screw it up real badly. Luckily my colleague came to check, and managed to get the case closed. I was thinking that I have really depended on this colleague too much - even though he has a lot of experience (a few months at the job already). After this colleague leaves, I am really on my own.

My present colleagues (the temp workers) are all males and I am the only girl out of 5 people. Today they waited for me to finish up my case(that same case), and I feel kind of bad. They are all older than me and I am like the youngest there right now - maybe I'm treated like a sister?! Haha! I really appreciated the fact that they waited for me - because I feel left out when they started talking about the World Cup and about the time when they went for their National Service amongst themselves and at the point of time when they waited for me, I felt like I really belonged even though I'm the only girl there.

I feel that I didn't work my a** off this year because I didn't at all, and it's taking its toll on me. Maybe I should take things more seriously and work my hardest at it - because I don't want to be a burden to anyone when I should know my stuff (especially at work). The same applies for studying, if I don't work hard I won't get to achieve anything. Now I understand what it really takes to get the things you want in life and that is through the hard work you have to put in yourself and not riding on the abilities or knowledge of others.

Hard Work + Determination + Sweat/Tears = Ultimate Prize in Life!!

- That's the winning formula!!

WTH!!!

I am a bit agitated with my mother. She gets on my nerves and I feel that she blames me for almost everything. Today, in the morning, she was gonna get some stuff and asked me to go along, and she was going with her "friend". He came by our house yesterday to add some planks of the wood to conceal some wires from our TV and other appliances. Honestly I don't like that person, and my mother kept asking me why I don't like him. After yesterday, everything I did just didn't please her. I forgot to bring along the cheque that she needed to post from her work, and she rushed me to shower and get dressed, because that friend of hers was gonna fetch us to the shopping mall. After meeting my mother, I realised I didn't have the cheque on me and raised her voice saying she needed to post the cheque today, and she looked at me, putting all the blame on me..was it my fault?

I gave her some seashells to put on the TV console, not did she thank me, but she said she wanted the bigger shells that my late grandfather gave to me. When I was playing my game and she told me she wanted to arrange the display on the console, I told her to put the smaller seashells on one side, then she repeated that she had to arrange the thing on the console and said that she left the shells on one side. When I went out of my room, it was still on the console!!! She could put it on the coffee table what!! WTH!!! I took the container that was used to put the smaller shells in previously and slammed my cupboard door. She's getting on my nerves the past 2 days. OMG!!! I just asked her to say thanks for the shells and she unwillingly said the 2 words...I just wanna swear!!! Whatever, I don't care anymore!!

Relieved.

I had just finished my exams last Thursday, and it has been a tough year of studies for me. I might have to retake because I can admit I didn't really study my hardest. The day after my exams, I went back to my previous workplace and left my number, quite embarrassing for me. For the first time, I watched a movie on my own. I had wanted to watch Iron Man 2 even before my exams started, so I took the opportunity to catch a movie on my own. It was not a bad feeling, but when it was time to enter the cinema, I was anxious as I thought I went to the wrong cinema and sat at the wrong seat. I felt kind of independent at that moment and the movie was AWESOME!! Love Robert Downey Jr and the technology and the effects in the movie. Gonna buy the DVD no matter what.

Just celebrated my friend's 21st birthday on Saturday. Can't really say I enjoyed myself, as I'm not the birthday girl and all, but my friend was messaging somebody when three of us including another friend, and she kept smiling to herself and it was kind of rude and annoying at the same time. Later that night I had found at she had met the person she was messaging in a club, a guy and they were seen dancing intimately. When I heard it, I thought to myself, "That's no place to meet a guy!". I'm quite traditional, I guess, I would need to know the person for real before befriending them or anything...Oh well. I'm in no place to judge or comment anything. I have been stressed about my future and the reaction I would have when I find out I failed some of my modules, but I guess i should just retake if I fail. I have nothing to fall back on.

Not so much in great mood after all that thinking, and it's time to clear some trash out of my room when I am free during these couple of days. I'm praying real hard that I won't fail all my modules, if not my Dad's gonna kill me! Haha...will be blogging more often now that I am having my vacation now. Let some of my peeps read some stuff about me since they can't find me on Facebook, and I pray that some of my friends won't find out about my blog because I blog about them!!! Haha...

Toodles!

Never judge a book by its cover...

I saw an advertisement about American Idol and some of the people who auditioned. There was this contestant who was a man, but instead of singing he screeched. Simon Cowell then asked the contestant if he had gone to his front yard and see if there were any animals out there. This was the lame part. In the movie Shrek the Third, when all the princesses were barging into the castle, and Snow White engaged reinforcements with the animals of the forest, she did the "ah-ah". I think Simon Cowell watched that movie and that was how he made that comment to that contestant. He's kinda lame!!! Hahaha!!! Maybe he's a big fan of animated movies!! Sometimes I like him on the show sometimes but sometimes I hate him, but he's still likable. Haha!!

Finding love & maintaining it?

Love. Something I can't comprehend but sometimes I wish I had it. The kind of love would be love toward a member of the opposite sex, is something that I haven't encountered, but at the same time I am not confident of.

People who still think of finding the perfect love that can last till the end of time, are seriously not realistic, and their ideals about marriage are so very different from endings in a fairytale. I have this friend who fights with her boyfriend so much that every time they call it quits and then get back together. The number of fights they have per year is something that I can't count, there are too many to keep track. People are getting divorces, and now it is so common everywhere. People are thinking too highly of relationships nowadays and when it all ends, they never stopped to ponder that it was their fault for expecting too much. I used to imagine this story of my love life - based on so many comic books I have read on love, and it is nowhere near reality of course.

I don't think I can imagine myself being in a relationship because nothing is perfect - and of course, girls want to achieve all things that are perfect, which is to me absolutely 'mission impossible'. Oh well. I am not surprised that 20 years down the road, I am still single and unmarried. Haha..but not every woman needs a man. I rather have one best friend (my mum) and a few very good friends. That shall be all I ask for.

Last Post - for the next 3 to 4 mths

Can't believe my last post was that long ago. A lot of things has happened since that last post. Anyway, I better make use of this time to write something positive and constructive.

I have been studying - but not hard enough. That I can say. Next week is my prelims and the whole of next month I should be busy like a bee. Better buck up Nicole!!!
About bucking up, I just slacked off just now. I was watching this movie "Stranger than Fiction" on cable. I have this movie on my hard-disk, but I was tempted to watch this movie. This movie was unlike any other movies and had a great flow, and was somehow poetic. While watching the movie, I felt like writing my own story, but I have to put that on hold for now. At least until my vacation.

I feel a bit cornered - that I have to study whereas my other friends are working. I think its normal to think that it would be better to be studying when you are working and vice-versa. Oh well, better make use of this opportunity of going to university and survive these three years without repeating any modules and make something out of myself with this degree I'm pursuing.

Gotta hit the books soon - and all I can do is pray that I won't get distracted and work my ass off, and pray that I get through this semester. College life is damn boring and sick!!!
Will write again after I get my results then...