WTH!!!

I am a bit agitated with my mother. She gets on my nerves and I feel that she blames me for almost everything. Today, in the morning, she was gonna get some stuff and asked me to go along, and she was going with her "friend". He came by our house yesterday to add some planks of the wood to conceal some wires from our TV and other appliances. Honestly I don't like that person, and my mother kept asking me why I don't like him. After yesterday, everything I did just didn't please her. I forgot to bring along the cheque that she needed to post from her work, and she rushed me to shower and get dressed, because that friend of hers was gonna fetch us to the shopping mall. After meeting my mother, I realised I didn't have the cheque on me and raised her voice saying she needed to post the cheque today, and she looked at me, putting all the blame on me..was it my fault?

I gave her some seashells to put on the TV console, not did she thank me, but she said she wanted the bigger shells that my late grandfather gave to me. When I was playing my game and she told me she wanted to arrange the display on the console, I told her to put the smaller seashells on one side, then she repeated that she had to arrange the thing on the console and said that she left the shells on one side. When I went out of my room, it was still on the console!!! She could put it on the coffee table what!! WTH!!! I took the container that was used to put the smaller shells in previously and slammed my cupboard door. She's getting on my nerves the past 2 days. OMG!!! I just asked her to say thanks for the shells and she unwillingly said the 2 words...I just wanna swear!!! Whatever, I don't care anymore!!

Relieved.

I had just finished my exams last Thursday, and it has been a tough year of studies for me. I might have to retake because I can admit I didn't really study my hardest. The day after my exams, I went back to my previous workplace and left my number, quite embarrassing for me. For the first time, I watched a movie on my own. I had wanted to watch Iron Man 2 even before my exams started, so I took the opportunity to catch a movie on my own. It was not a bad feeling, but when it was time to enter the cinema, I was anxious as I thought I went to the wrong cinema and sat at the wrong seat. I felt kind of independent at that moment and the movie was AWESOME!! Love Robert Downey Jr and the technology and the effects in the movie. Gonna buy the DVD no matter what.

Just celebrated my friend's 21st birthday on Saturday. Can't really say I enjoyed myself, as I'm not the birthday girl and all, but my friend was messaging somebody when three of us including another friend, and she kept smiling to herself and it was kind of rude and annoying at the same time. Later that night I had found at she had met the person she was messaging in a club, a guy and they were seen dancing intimately. When I heard it, I thought to myself, "That's no place to meet a guy!". I'm quite traditional, I guess, I would need to know the person for real before befriending them or anything...Oh well. I'm in no place to judge or comment anything. I have been stressed about my future and the reaction I would have when I find out I failed some of my modules, but I guess i should just retake if I fail. I have nothing to fall back on.

Not so much in great mood after all that thinking, and it's time to clear some trash out of my room when I am free during these couple of days. I'm praying real hard that I won't fail all my modules, if not my Dad's gonna kill me! Haha...will be blogging more often now that I am having my vacation now. Let some of my peeps read some stuff about me since they can't find me on Facebook, and I pray that some of my friends won't find out about my blog because I blog about them!!! Haha...

Toodles!

Never judge a book by its cover...

I saw an advertisement about American Idol and some of the people who auditioned. There was this contestant who was a man, but instead of singing he screeched. Simon Cowell then asked the contestant if he had gone to his front yard and see if there were any animals out there. This was the lame part. In the movie Shrek the Third, when all the princesses were barging into the castle, and Snow White engaged reinforcements with the animals of the forest, she did the "ah-ah". I think Simon Cowell watched that movie and that was how he made that comment to that contestant. He's kinda lame!!! Hahaha!!! Maybe he's a big fan of animated movies!! Sometimes I like him on the show sometimes but sometimes I hate him, but he's still likable. Haha!!

Finding love & maintaining it?

Love. Something I can't comprehend but sometimes I wish I had it. The kind of love would be love toward a member of the opposite sex, is something that I haven't encountered, but at the same time I am not confident of.

People who still think of finding the perfect love that can last till the end of time, are seriously not realistic, and their ideals about marriage are so very different from endings in a fairytale. I have this friend who fights with her boyfriend so much that every time they call it quits and then get back together. The number of fights they have per year is something that I can't count, there are too many to keep track. People are getting divorces, and now it is so common everywhere. People are thinking too highly of relationships nowadays and when it all ends, they never stopped to ponder that it was their fault for expecting too much. I used to imagine this story of my love life - based on so many comic books I have read on love, and it is nowhere near reality of course.

I don't think I can imagine myself being in a relationship because nothing is perfect - and of course, girls want to achieve all things that are perfect, which is to me absolutely 'mission impossible'. Oh well. I am not surprised that 20 years down the road, I am still single and unmarried. Haha..but not every woman needs a man. I rather have one best friend (my mum) and a few very good friends. That shall be all I ask for.

Last Post - for the next 3 to 4 mths

Can't believe my last post was that long ago. A lot of things has happened since that last post. Anyway, I better make use of this time to write something positive and constructive.

I have been studying - but not hard enough. That I can say. Next week is my prelims and the whole of next month I should be busy like a bee. Better buck up Nicole!!!
About bucking up, I just slacked off just now. I was watching this movie "Stranger than Fiction" on cable. I have this movie on my hard-disk, but I was tempted to watch this movie. This movie was unlike any other movies and had a great flow, and was somehow poetic. While watching the movie, I felt like writing my own story, but I have to put that on hold for now. At least until my vacation.

I feel a bit cornered - that I have to study whereas my other friends are working. I think its normal to think that it would be better to be studying when you are working and vice-versa. Oh well, better make use of this opportunity of going to university and survive these three years without repeating any modules and make something out of myself with this degree I'm pursuing.

Gotta hit the books soon - and all I can do is pray that I won't get distracted and work my ass off, and pray that I get through this semester. College life is damn boring and sick!!!
Will write again after I get my results then...

My birthday and I am turning 20!!

I guess it's not so bad that I turned 20. At first I thought:"20?! That's like so old!". I guess I couldn't accept the fact that I was getting a year older that's all. Hmm..I feel I am mentally ready for the things that life will throw at me from now on, and I guess I have a matured a little depsite the fact that I am still telling lame jokes to my friends. I feel that I am a little aloof to people nowadays, but that's because I am a thinker. Virgo girls are thinkers. I have been alone by myself for too long!!!

Turning 20 is no biggie, but for me it's a great deal. I have definitely grown up a lot mentally, although I am still the same height as I was back in primary school (sad). I joked with my mum (a few years ago) that on my 21st birthday, she should give me a necklace with a key as a pendant signifying my independence. Come to think of it, she has given me a lot of freedom, and the key would be somehow redundent because I still stick to her like I have always did since I was young.

This birthday I am greatful for all the things I have, the good and bad times I had experienced, and learn not to take things for granted. I can't wait to get older because I will get wiser and that will make up for those times that I was childish and those stupid things that I have done in the past.

Wishes: Study hard, love life, lose weight, and help Mum in any way I can. Of course, good health and happiness for myself and my friends!!!

Gonna slack for a while more even though I gotta study. It's my right because it's my birthday today!! Haha

In distress...

I met my brother and his gf on Tuesday, he had to pass me a book for Econs. When he ask me how was my studying and I replied that I could cope for now, and I think I would need help on Econs and Maths. They then pushed the topic of teaching me these two subjects to each other. Like "Oh, he can help you. No lah, she can help you". I guess I am on my own, and I don't think I can depend on them (my brother said if there was any qns I can ask him). They are gonna start school soon and I doubt they would be too busy to help me. Hiaz....

Stressed out because I need to depend on my own and I got a assignment due next week and its quite tough to tackle. I guess I will just work on assignment today (there is construction going on and I need the silence to study), and study tomorrow instead.

Guess this blog is my stress-reliever and refuge. Hiaz. Hope I got the determination to study and last for next three years (because I don't wanna repeat any modules - a waste of my time and money).

Wish me luck - and now I am not so in the mood of enjoying my birthday when it comes...Hiaz