Never judge a book by its cover...

I saw an advertisement about American Idol and some of the people who auditioned. There was this contestant who was a man, but instead of singing he screeched. Simon Cowell then asked the contestant if he had gone to his front yard and see if there were any animals out there. This was the lame part. In the movie Shrek the Third, when all the princesses were barging into the castle, and Snow White engaged reinforcements with the animals of the forest, she did the "ah-ah". I think Simon Cowell watched that movie and that was how he made that comment to that contestant. He's kinda lame!!! Hahaha!!! Maybe he's a big fan of animated movies!! Sometimes I like him on the show sometimes but sometimes I hate him, but he's still likable. Haha!!

Finding love & maintaining it?

Love. Something I can't comprehend but sometimes I wish I had it. The kind of love would be love toward a member of the opposite sex, is something that I haven't encountered, but at the same time I am not confident of.

People who still think of finding the perfect love that can last till the end of time, are seriously not realistic, and their ideals about marriage are so very different from endings in a fairytale. I have this friend who fights with her boyfriend so much that every time they call it quits and then get back together. The number of fights they have per year is something that I can't count, there are too many to keep track. People are getting divorces, and now it is so common everywhere. People are thinking too highly of relationships nowadays and when it all ends, they never stopped to ponder that it was their fault for expecting too much. I used to imagine this story of my love life - based on so many comic books I have read on love, and it is nowhere near reality of course.

I don't think I can imagine myself being in a relationship because nothing is perfect - and of course, girls want to achieve all things that are perfect, which is to me absolutely 'mission impossible'. Oh well. I am not surprised that 20 years down the road, I am still single and unmarried. Haha..but not every woman needs a man. I rather have one best friend (my mum) and a few very good friends. That shall be all I ask for.

Last Post - for the next 3 to 4 mths

Can't believe my last post was that long ago. A lot of things has happened since that last post. Anyway, I better make use of this time to write something positive and constructive.

I have been studying - but not hard enough. That I can say. Next week is my prelims and the whole of next month I should be busy like a bee. Better buck up Nicole!!!
About bucking up, I just slacked off just now. I was watching this movie "Stranger than Fiction" on cable. I have this movie on my hard-disk, but I was tempted to watch this movie. This movie was unlike any other movies and had a great flow, and was somehow poetic. While watching the movie, I felt like writing my own story, but I have to put that on hold for now. At least until my vacation.

I feel a bit cornered - that I have to study whereas my other friends are working. I think its normal to think that it would be better to be studying when you are working and vice-versa. Oh well, better make use of this opportunity of going to university and survive these three years without repeating any modules and make something out of myself with this degree I'm pursuing.

Gotta hit the books soon - and all I can do is pray that I won't get distracted and work my ass off, and pray that I get through this semester. College life is damn boring and sick!!!
Will write again after I get my results then...

My birthday and I am turning 20!!

I guess it's not so bad that I turned 20. At first I thought:"20?! That's like so old!". I guess I couldn't accept the fact that I was getting a year older that's all. Hmm..I feel I am mentally ready for the things that life will throw at me from now on, and I guess I have a matured a little depsite the fact that I am still telling lame jokes to my friends. I feel that I am a little aloof to people nowadays, but that's because I am a thinker. Virgo girls are thinkers. I have been alone by myself for too long!!!

Turning 20 is no biggie, but for me it's a great deal. I have definitely grown up a lot mentally, although I am still the same height as I was back in primary school (sad). I joked with my mum (a few years ago) that on my 21st birthday, she should give me a necklace with a key as a pendant signifying my independence. Come to think of it, she has given me a lot of freedom, and the key would be somehow redundent because I still stick to her like I have always did since I was young.

This birthday I am greatful for all the things I have, the good and bad times I had experienced, and learn not to take things for granted. I can't wait to get older because I will get wiser and that will make up for those times that I was childish and those stupid things that I have done in the past.

Wishes: Study hard, love life, lose weight, and help Mum in any way I can. Of course, good health and happiness for myself and my friends!!!

Gonna slack for a while more even though I gotta study. It's my right because it's my birthday today!! Haha

In distress...

I met my brother and his gf on Tuesday, he had to pass me a book for Econs. When he ask me how was my studying and I replied that I could cope for now, and I think I would need help on Econs and Maths. They then pushed the topic of teaching me these two subjects to each other. Like "Oh, he can help you. No lah, she can help you". I guess I am on my own, and I don't think I can depend on them (my brother said if there was any qns I can ask him). They are gonna start school soon and I doubt they would be too busy to help me. Hiaz....

Stressed out because I need to depend on my own and I got a assignment due next week and its quite tough to tackle. I guess I will just work on assignment today (there is construction going on and I need the silence to study), and study tomorrow instead.

Guess this blog is my stress-reliever and refuge. Hiaz. Hope I got the determination to study and last for next three years (because I don't wanna repeat any modules - a waste of my time and money).

Wish me luck - and now I am not so in the mood of enjoying my birthday when it comes...Hiaz

Busy & Troubled.

I have been busy with studies lately, attending classes and revising and stuff. I was quite prepared at the thought that studying (in Uni) was not gonna be at all easy, and I am starting to taste it and it ain't sweet at all. I am kind of worried and I am very tempted to have tuition. Economics and Maths is hard, but I am starting to like Accounting since I have studied it before and I like counting my budgets for the weeks(Haha!!) I have trouble retaining the information that I revised in my head, and I suspect its the branch that fell on my head outside my church a year ago that left me in this state. Maybe some part of my memory cells is depleted or something. I feel so drained and I really feel that I should have chosen to work for a year.

On the plus side, I made some new friends/classmates and at least I don't feel that lonely as compared to my first week at school. I have drawn up a "relax" schedule at home but I haven't been sticking to it (Haha!). I really need to convince myself to study hard now, although its only into my third week at school and besides, studying was never meant to be easy in the first place.

I need to at least unwind for a day or two each week so that I won't be that stressed out.

No luck for my comic selling - and I need the space to put all my lecture notes. Boo-hoo!!

Weekend's coming and I am so looking forward to rest on Sunday (Woo-hoo), and gotta gear up for classes back on Tuesday!!!

First Day...

Yup. The first day of school - as a university student. I woke up and left the house pretty early. I reached school at about a few minutes to 8 and I was pretty anxious. Luckily my brother prepped me for the week, by calling me last night. He told me to bring something to hold the notes (and they were for a year = all the lessons). I was quite optimistic at the start of the class and when it was halfway into the class, I kinda understood what the lecturer was saying and all. However, towards the end of the class, I felt a sudden gush of stress in my mind, and I pondered about my survival for the next 3 years in the university. I don't wanna cave into the stress that quickly although I was mentally prepared for the "hideous" and hard things to come. The first day was all about the lesson, and I was too shy to talk to anybody and start introducing myself to them. I suppose many of the students have that poly/JC mentality, and I don't deny that fact. As I was on my way out of the campus, I started remembering my years in poly and how I really enjoyed it, and I would really like to get back to that kind of "study life".

It's only the first week and I hope it will get better next week. I am trying hard to absorb at every lesson and I hope I could do so. Wish me luck!!

PS: I really wished somebody who is my friend could be in the same course as me; making new friends and meeting new people is so hard..since I am a introvert.

Gambatte!!!