teary-eyed girl

Just yesterday when I was waiting in line at the bus station, this girl who was in front of me had some strange look on her face - like she was about to cry. After a few minutes, she actually did, and there were quite a few people looking at her. I glanced at her several times and at that instant, I automatically assumed it was guy problems. She cried really bad, with her eyes turning red. An elderly man went up to her and asked if she had a tummy ache. He started talking to her, and even sat beside her on the bus and comforted her - which i thought it was quite sweet of that elderly man to do so. Seeing her reminds me of the days when I saw my Dad for the first time after the divorce.

I stayed in school late and when I reached the station to catch a bus back to my aunt's condo, that was when I saw my dad. He started talking to me and I got really nervous, after we said our goodbyes, I went straight to the bus stop. At that instant, tears started flowing, and soon, I was tearing really badly, and when I boarded the bus, I was tearing and sobbing. Many of the passengers also looked at me, but I didn't seem to care about them because I was too busy unleashing the sadness through tears. When I reached the condo, I went directly to my mum and I started breaking down. My mum too broke down saying that she missed him. I think I cried myself to sleep that night. Over the course of the next few days, I saw him again. I began to get very cautious about seeing him, and I brought a cap on those nights to wear - in case I were to see him again.

Talking about my dad, I have probably thought that the divorce was a good thing for both my parents, but I hated the fact that my dad did not even try to salvage the marriage and even brought up the divorce. I know I can never see and love him in the same way anymore, given the fact that I have somehow forgiven him. I hated the fact that he said that the children will not be affected. For my elder brother, I guess he could take the blow better than me, and given the fact that I am much more emotional than your average girl.

Honestly, I still haven't gotten over this pain of the divorce, but I hope that through blogging, I might be able to clear this very heavy and emotional baggage.

PS: For those close friends of mine who do not know of this, I hope you know by now what brought the change in my character over the past few months. To those who do, thanks for being there for me. Luv ya.