lonely. fat. depressed.

Yup. That's what I can summarize myself for now.

Lonely - especially on the way home, alone. I live quite far away from town, in a neighborhood of oblivious people who do not seem to notice you coming towards their direction. While on the bus ride home, I am often being occupied by the music playing on my phone, but I still tend to feel a tinge of loneliness. My friends on the other hand stay quite near town - that's why I always tend to go home alone. On the bus, there are always couples who look so lovely-dovey together and they look so happy. I was thinking maybe I should get a boyfriend - but I would not want to commit my all into the relationship. I have seen relationships of my friends that initially looked so dreamy, but turned kinda sour as they got to know each other better and I am kinda afraid of that. Oh well..I might just have a phobia for relationships now.

Fat - yes, definitely, and very aware of it. I am about 1.59m tall and weigh about 65kg. That's pretty bad for myself. I am often reminded by my Mum about it like: "Look at you..you look very fat!" or something of that sort. "Yes mother, I know", is what I thought to myself every time she mentions about my weight. I have tried ways - like eating less carbo and meat, but looks like they are not working that effectively. Like they always say: "Easy to gain, hard to lose". When it comes to weight that is. Well...Just hope that I can succeed with more motivation and reality checks made by my Mum. I managed to lose weight once, and I hope I can do so now.

Depressed - of course. I have always been, since the divorce of my parents. Now, also of what I am gonna do after my 3 years of tertiary education - whether I could go to university and what are my future plans. I seriously have no clue about that. I do not even have the money to even attend one, and my grades is another matter all together. On top of that, I haven't even graduated yet! My goodness, I should probably get that settled out when I have the time..Yikes.

I probably need expert opinions on my problems, and I might have already suffered from mild depression.

P.S: Need help!!