final farewells.

Yesterday was the last day of my granddad's wake. Many of my relatives cried, and I did too, when I walked around the coffin for the last time. My granddad was the one person I look forward to seeing every CNY, and I think next year I won't have much to look forward to when I visit my Dad's side of the family. On the bus to the crematorium - I realised one fact. The soul of my granddad has gone where he needs to be and that body that they are crying over is just an empty shell. It was a very emotional time for them when the coffin was seen going into the furnace.

My brother told me my grandmother's cofffin had flames surrounding it when it was wheeled into the furnace. If we had seen a furnace yesterday - my relatives will cry really bad.

I applied for SIM yesterday and luckily my brother was with me because I think I will be so clueless on how to go about applying for a spot. If I am accepted there will be other things to do and I will probably start school in August. I am convinced I have to study really hard to get through the whole 3 years of the course.

When I got home after everything, I realised I had a bruise of the size of 2 twenty-cent coins. I think I exerted too much force when I was kneeling on the floor when the coffin had to be closed. It hurt and a few years ago I fell on a "long-kang" cover which was made of metal and the impact was on my knee, so I hope nothing serious happened to my kneecap. I was so tired yesterday I felt so lethargic and I just lazed around, maybe I will just do that for the next few days. I was in a pretty lousy mood yesterday - and I didn't know why.

Gotta pack my room and throw some stuff, maybe I will feel better after that.